You know that feeling when your house is in disarray and you don't want anyone visiting. You don't want anyone outside your family to find out that your furniture needs some polish, or that there are grease marks on your kitchen walls. Plus, what if you are arguing with your spouse because he likes to watch TV in his tidy whites with his Boulevard Pale Ale bottles strewn across the coffee table, next to the greasy papers and food wrappers thrown throughout the floor. What if your weird Uncle Luther is there, with his dirty white tee-shirt, two sizes too small, with his butt crack protruding over his low-slung jeans. You like to lay prone across the big stained beige cloth recliner eating peanut M&M's and watching Real Housewives of Hollywood. Your pregnant sixteen year old niece is hiding the cigarette she's smoking outside the backyard door, while the beagle humps her boyfriend's leg as he reclines on the couch.
This is America with Donald Drumpf in charge. Do you really want those Parisians or Londoners, with their cool manners and haughty judgments coming a' calling. They are all in their fancy clothes and discerning palates, walking into the rotten food smell of the living room, or the indescrible stench of the bathroom. Angela Merkel wants to drop by. What do you do? Do you want the world leaders spying the disgrace your country has become with Boob Donald Drumpf in charge. I am listening to the Drumpf on the tube right now. Oops, just dumped some beer on my nightgown and spilled the M&M's. Please let me wake up from this nightmare.