Rest in Peace, My Good Boy

Rowdy, our beloved mutt, died unexpectedly today. He was 10.  We almost did not get him. Our daughter, Lisa, loves animals and volunteered at the animal shelter. Lisa fell head over heels for this gangly hot dog on long toothpicks. He had kettle cough and quivered with fear.  Lisa, in her own way, climbed into Rowdy's cage and played and played with him during Lisa's volunteer hours.

Rowdy was certainly not the handsomest of the canines at the shelter, nor was he the most cuddly. But, he sure could get excited, jump all over people, and run around. One Monday, Lisa asked her dad (my husband) if she could adopt Rowdy because the shelter was planning to extinguish the life of this active pup.  Mike's answer was a resounding, "No!"  At the time, we had another dog, Pepper, a border collie mix, an ornery cat, and a cockatiel.  We had enough pets.

Lisa, as is typical of her driven nature, would not take no for an answer. She devised a plan- take Mom (me) to the shelter and bank on my powder puff nature and on my solitary ability to prevail on Dad to change his mind.

We drove to the shelter, with dozens of barks and tens of prospective adopters.  However,  no one gave Rowdy a second glance, even though his death was scheduled later that very day. And, as scheming Lisa predicted, her Mom was smitten with the gangly, ugly, auburn furred creature. We dashed home. I confronted Mike. "We have to get this dog!  If we don't, he is dead by morning!"
"PLEASE!!!" Lisa and I exclaimed. Mike, a sucker to make his wife, and daughter happy, relented.

In the early years, Rowdy developed into the most handsome, muscled, athletic creature.  When he dashed in circles along our back fence, he was poetry in motion. Rowdy adapted well to Alpha dog Pepper and after Pepper passed to pit bull Grimm.  Lately, you would think that Grimm and Rowdy thought they were twins, anticipating my return from work with wagging tails and oodles of energy.

Last week, Rowdy, now 10 years old, was stricken with an undetermined ailment on Friday. By Monday, today, he was dead. We don't know why, but it probably involved a spinal column mishap.  We did not see this coming. My last words to Rowdy were at the vet's office, me kneeling and caressing his beautiful auburn fur, telling him I loved him and that he was a good boy. And that he was. In the last ten years, Rowdy brought infinite joy to my family. He was almost a brother to my son Aaron.

Oh, Rowdy, how we will miss you!  Rest in peace, my good boy!

No Same Sex Couples Need Apply for Student Discounts

I am a Mizzou student starting this fall.  This past year, I was a UMKC student, online anyway. You see, a client clued me in that if you take a college course for credit, you can sign up for student health insurance. The group of students that form the pool of potential insured is much younger than me, generally youngsters. In their 20s and in good health. As a 60 year-old, this is the insurance pool I am happy to be in - providing great health insurance coverage at very reasonable rates. I am gladly expanding my educational horizons one class at a time.  So far, at UMKC, I have taken The History of Rock and Roll and How It Works - introductory physics for non-majors.  I decided to switch to Mizzou because it has a greater variety of online courses and I have always wanted to take an astronomy class.

I start Astronomy in August, and to my surprise, I am entitled to a plethora of student benefits, including a student discount to athletic events.  Apparently, Mizzou student tickets to football and basketball games are in high demand and short supply. I can request student tickets for me, and my spouse. Yup, my spouse gets the student discount, too.  Apparently, this spouse benefit is quite a coveted perk. If my spouse wants to cash in on this great deal, I have to supply my marriage certificate. Not just anyone can claim this companion deal, only those certified by the state as spouses.

Now, I can understand the university's need to restrict student seating. Student friends and acquaintances could fill Faurot Field, leaving wealthy donors out in the cold. I understand restricting student seating to just one accompanying ticket, or maybe fewer because of space needs. But why must there be a marriage between a man and a woman before a student gets two seats?  Is there some need for the ability to procreate in order to sit next to the one you love at a freaking football game? Is a committed relationship not good enough for football?  Should two people of the same sex be prohibited from obtaining basketball student seats because of religious doctrine?

People have weird rules for weird reasons. Sorry, gay people, you and your loved one will both have to be enrolled as students if you want to get student rates to see football or basketball with the one you love.

See today's article on the push to stop discrimination for sexual orientation in Missouri's Senate sponsored by Senator Jolie Justus. http://www.kansascity.com/2013/06/16/4297080/push-for-gay-rights-wins-victory.html

P.S.  Al,though student ticket policy may be unchanged, the University of Missouri did allow a change in student health benefits today.  http://www.kansascity.com/2013/06/17/4297366/university-of-missouri-approves.html:// That is progress!

Politicians - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Through the years, I have sued several politicians for discriminating against my clients. Politicians are different than other employers.  They have virtually no bosses.  Their real bosses are the electorate, and, depending on the nature of the case and the importance of the politician, the electorate may never know enough to throw the bum out.  We all remember President Clinton's famous,"I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky". Not all harassers are the President of the United States. The local recorder of deeds' affairs may go totally unnoticed by the voters. As with all cases, it takes someone to notice and object before the discrimination will stop.   

Politicians remind me of the Clint Eastwood movie, "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly."   Here's how:

THE GOOD - Many, if not most, politicians become politicians because they believe they know how to improve society.  I like to think most people running for political office want to do good. They may be idealistic, they may be brilliant.  They want to be known as someone who fixes problems and makes society better. 

THE BAD - Just because a person can do what it takes to get elected, it doesn't mean they have administrative skills or know-how to run an office and supervise employees.   While mostly large employers have regular management training including how to prevent and deal with sex, age, race or disability discrimination, oftentimes elected officials do not.  Merely because a politician successful sought a political office, does not mean the politician understands government laws.  I have found that some politicians are ignorant of sexual harassment, age and retaliation laws, and have little desire to learn. 

THE UGLY- There are some politicians who just aren't strong enough to do what's right.  These are the people taken with the power of their office.  They feel that, since people voted for them, they must be really popular. And these are the people who really dig power.  They are bad bosses, even if they do not win their elections because they are insecure.  These insecure people get off on adoration. They think they are above the law.  While they recognize sexual harassment is illegal, when they come on to members of their staffs, it's not sexual harassment because they must be so. Desirable to everyone. These politicians are arrogant, insecure and insensitive.  If they want something to happen, like firing staff, they don't worry about their motives, like wanting younger employees, because those laws apply to the regular folks not bestowed with special powers from the electorate. As Cicero said, "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

So what do you do if you are being fired for your race or age, or the boss wants to sleep with you, and your boss is an elected official?  Well, you can always leave, and keep your mouth shut. Try to move on and hope your experience does not hurt you in getting the next job. Or, you can fight.  Fighting is not easy. Your case will probably be in the news.  The politician's office may make up lies about you. Your most intimate secrets could be plastered over the newspaper. You may agree that you can't fight city hall. 

But there are some special people out there who have a keen sense of what's right and what sucks.  They have to fight back. They can't tolerate injustice. If they don't fight, they won't forgive themselves.  These people don't want others to experience the humiliation that the politician-employer caused them. I have represented several of these fighters, and I am in awe of them. What courage!  It makes me proud to be a lawyer. 

YOU MIGHT BE AN AGEIST IF ....

You might be an ageist if:

1.  You think anyone over 50 is too old to keep up with new technology;

2.   You make fun of people with grey hair;

3.   You think people over 50 are taking jobs from younger people who you think are more energetic;

4.   You think people over 50 are all set in their ways and resistant to new ideas;

5.  You think Baby Boomers are going to bleed Social Security and Medicare and leave nothing for you;

6.   You hate hippies and think most people over 55 were probably hippies;

7.  You think most older people get dementia and get too stupid to hold jobs;

8.   You think if older workers don't want to retire, they should be laid off for the good of the company;

9.  You think  experience in life is meaningless and there is no such thing as wisdom; and

10.  You think older people can't possibly be as hip, have as good as sense of humor, or be as smart as  you.

In this day and age, most people realize its wrong to call someone a racial epithet or call a woman the "c" word.  How often do you hear, and accept jokes about "old farts" and think nothing about it?  Many cultures honor and respect their elders. Will that ever happen here, or will we increasingly be a culture that wants to ostracize and isolate the grandparents and great-grandparents?  At least there is one equalizer, we all get older.

THREE MYTHS OF WORKING WOMEN

I am 60 years old and I have been employed since I was 14. In the 1970's, when I was coming of age, there was a lot of talk about women's rights (back then called "women's lib") about how women could have it all - a rewarding and lucrative  career, a wonderful family, and an immaculate house.  Women could have it ALL. I am very happy about how my life has turned out this far. That's not to say there were no problems or hard decisions, but I think some women expect too much from themselves and society. So do men.  Here are the three myths about mixing careers and family:

1.  Being a working parent is a women's issue -  it takes two people to make a baby, not just a mother. Being a working parent is a human issue, not a women's issue.  My husband and I have raised two children. We are both parents, and we have both made sacrifices in our lives for the sake of our children. When a child is sick, he or she needs a parent, not just a mother. In order for parents to successfully raise children in a two parent household, both parents need to chip in - with parenting, household chores, and day to day living. We still believe in this country that husbands and fathers need not take on the same responsibilities for home life as mothers and wives. That's balderdash. Of course, some mothers and fathers are single parents and don't have a partner to rely upon. We, as a society, need to support those parents who have total responsibility of child-rearing.  People like me, whose own children are grown, should step in and help nurture and raise the children. I know it's corny, but, it does take a village.

2.  You can have it all - No you can't!  In life all of us must establish priorities. In our firm, among my partners, who all happen to be female, we have two priorities - family first, firm comes second.  When my partner Marie and I were in law school she was single and I was married with a toddler. My husband worked evenings, so I was home evenings with our son. Marie went to law school gatherings, social occasions and parties.  I did not.  I awoke at 5:30 a.m. to study when the house was quiet. I also studied all day Sundays and my husband took care of our son. I didn't mind missing the parties at all. Having a family in law school grounded me. I knew that my family was more important than a Torts exam and I made choices. As a lawyer, when I get ready for trial, my husband took over my parenting and home  responsibilities and I immersed my self in trial. I pay attention to nothing else but my client and the case while I trial, because I can't do a good job otherwise. That's when my husband has really stepped up to the plate.  It worked for us.  We all make choices.  I know I am lucky to have a spouse who believes as I do about working parents.  Single parents also need to prioritize and ask for help. There are no easy answers, no ways to avoid sacrifice.

3. To be successful, we all need to climb the corporate ladder -   I have never desired to be a big wonkedy-wonk in a gigantic law firm, nor do I have any desire to be vice-president of Facebook, Apple or General Motors. In the thirty years I have practiced law, I have been self-employed for all but three of those years.  Not having a boss is one of the greatest things about my job. Mind you, no one pays me overtime, sick leave or vacation pay. When we get money in the door, paying staff comes first, then other overhead, and the lawyers are paid dead last. And sometimes there can be a long stretch before money comes in the door. That is the nature of a contingent fee Plaintiffs' practice.  But, I love representing my clients and I was always able to take my kids to work, not just in April, or take off work to spend time with My kids. Money and power are not as important to me as family and firm. Plus, as a self-professed misfit, I don't think I would fare well in a large corporate structure.  There are simply too many people telling you what to do.  And people in large organizations can be capricious, power hungry and overly ambitious. No thank you.

I am not saying my way is the right way for all working parents, but the balance my husband and I established worked well for us.  You can't have it all.  You need to decide what is really important to you, and go for it.  And quit whining.

THE BEST JOBS EVER (unless you have an unscrupulous boss)

I am an employment lawyer and, based on jobs my female clients have had, here are my best jobs ever, in reverse order:

10.  FORK-LIFT OPERATOR - You get to operate a machine, manipulate rows of goods, where earphones, hopefully with music. You are in your own world, moving things with machinery. However, this job is not near as good if the predominantly male co-workers sexually harass you and draw nasty pictures in trucks with your name over the photo.  

9.  MICROBIOLOGIST - this is a great job, if you get to search for cures for breast cancer without your boss feeling you up. 

8.  SELLING TESTS TO DOCTORS TO FIND THE GENE THAT ANGELINA JOLIE HAS - this job helps humanity, as long as you are not fired because you are pregnant. 

7.  OFFICER IN THE AIR FORCE - great job for a woman as long as you are lucky enough to avoid harassment and rape. 

6.  POLITICAL ASSISTANT - great job, as long as the boss' wife doesn't come to work at the office. 

5.  DELIVERY TRUCK DRIVER AND UNION MEMBER - fun job to load truck and deliver presents at Christmastime, as long as your co-workers don't try to date you and then write lies about you when you complain to management. 

4.  WORKER AT SCHOOLS - Great job if you love kids of all races and genders, unless you work for the Kansas City School District. Enough said. 

3.   LAWYER - great job, unless your fate is decided by other lawyers, especially those who run or seek political office. 

2.  PHARMACEUTICAL SALESPERSON - Great job, on the edge of medical breakthroughs with good salaries, unless you don't like your employer violating the law buy marketing drugs that haven't been approved by the FDA. 

1.  NURSE - one of the most necessary and rewarding jobs that really makes a difference, unless the hospital doesn't care about patient safety or you don't like the doctor fondling your butt. 

Mothers Teach Your Children to Vote

Today is Mothers Day. I have two grown children whom I love dearly.  I would not presume to tell other mothers how to parent their children, except (there are always exceptions) to teach your children to vote.  Voting is so important in oh so many ways.  The Missouri Legislature just overwhelming passed a bill commanding Missourians to ignore and violate federal gun laws.  It seems they don't care that within the United States Constitution there is a part named the "Supremacy Clause" which commands that federal laws supersede state laws.  This bill, if signed into law will only make money for the lawyers opposing and defending the bill in the courts of appeals before the law is soundly struck down as unconstitutional.  What a great waste of taxpayer dollars.  

And then there are the politicians who believe they need not follow anti-discrimination laws because, as one must presume they are either ignorant of the law or believe they are above the law.  These politicians also waste taxpayer dollars in settlements and verdicts by victims of age or other discrimination. These people also need to be defeated in the polls.  

Fellow Mothers, we have only had the vote in this country since 1920.  The vote is powerful. We and our children can make a difference.  We need informed voters.  Teach your children to be an informed voter and society will benefit.  Apathy paves the way to votes going for the highest bidders.  Teach your children that if they vote intelligently, elections will not be bought by the wealthy individuals and corporations who want to have lawmakers in their pockets.  Teach your children to vote!