Sunday, September 18, 2016

My Friends Are My Friends - So Leave Me Alone

Lately, I have been criticized in the Comments section on my blog because I have a good relationship  with Tony Botello. Several people indicate I shouldn't like because he is a sexist, or racist, or mean - blah, blah, blah. In fact, I got a couple of comments about Mr. Botello on a tribute I wrote about an amazing, courageous woman who just passed away. I considered deleting the comments, since they had nothing to do with the legacy of this amazing woman, but I did not. I only delete troll comments, and these comments were fair comments, but inserted in a place which I thought was inappropriate.

Apparently, as a feminist, I am supposed to have only friends or people with whom share my every view and share all of the views of all of the people who generally agree with me. I believe we are multi-faceted beings and I find it offensive that my choice of friends is subject to comment.

I am sure many people disagree with many of my beliefs or actions. So be it.  That does not mean I hate people with whom I disagree. I admire that Tony believes in the First Amendment and chooses not to delete troll comments, no matter how disgusting, racist, sexist or just pathetic the commenters may be. I disagree with Tony on the comment issue. I delete troll comments. I don't post photos of women in bikinis either, nor do I intend to do so. Tony may write things you find to be offensive. Some things I find to be offensive. However, he has done some amazing work exposing malfeasance and corruption. And sometimes he makes me laugh.

I saw Louis CK and he was hilarious, and said many, many offensive things. But, he was very funny. Actually, I will forgive a lot if someone makes me laugh. Laughter is one of my most favorite things in this world. I laugh at sick things at times.  Mt favorite joke is, "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.  I don't want to die screaming and afraid like his passengers."   Perhaps I am shallow or hypocritical that way, but get over it. We are all multi-faceted and hopefully we are complex human beings. Life is not black and white. I appreciate shades of grey.

Now, Tony, I will not be voting for you for president, or governor, or even mayor. You may say things with which I do not agree, but, I am not going to tell you to do or be anything but who you are. So, you commenters, or Facebook peeps who are upset with my friend choice,  get over it.


  1. A thoughtful, & thought provoking essay.

    I have been guilty of this, myself. Tony is a complex person, but so am I. I apologize if I have offended, because I do have respect for you.

  2. Great.

    Support a sexist. And his deeply racist commenters.

    And actually, I didn't criticize you as much as I asked you why you would support a sexist. Thanks for answering.


  3. You have a racist for a friend.

    You have a misogynist for a friend.

    You have someone who drags innocent people through the mud as a source of a friend!

    You have someone who exploits the personal tragedies of others as a friend.

    You have a liar as a friend.

    You have someone who is paid to push the opinions of others as objective fact.

    And you don't care? And you're bragging about it? Really??

    Botello is not a "complex person." He's a pig.

    You need better friends.

  4. Uhh mostly he just parrots the work of actual reporters and calls it his own.

    I heard he doesn't pay his child support.

    So not only do you not have a grown man as a friend, you also have a plagiarist as a friend I'd say.

  5. I like TKC, it's a pretty good blog. More interesting than most of the stuff out there and he certainly isn't afraid to take on controversy. Nowadays, most media won't do that.

  6. T has a knack for controversy. I wish more "real" journalists could get people talking about the news.

    1. Fine, just not with "yellow journalism." Like his.

  7. What's magnificent is that Tony responded to an accusation of being a sexist and misogynist by putting a sexist photo on his blog, above his response to this "controversy." That is fantastic.

  8. My original reason for writing, Ms. Bratcher, was that you were celebrating, in your friend, at least in part, that she was a feminist and a strong person. I merely wanted to ask why you would show support for someone who objectifies women, not to beat the point further. My goal was not to be hard on you. I simply didn't understand and wanted to square it. I just didn't understand.

    I wish you nothing but the best.

  9. I've been thinking all week about what to comment on this post and I still can't formulate sentences good enough to accurately represent my thoughts . . .

    More than anything, I am humbled, honored and exceptionally grateful to be counted among Lynn's friends.

    Where she has fought and won for her clients, friends and principles over the years . . . I've just managed to blog somewhat clever stuff and have tried my best to provide an alternative to so much noise out there. What I think is amazing about Lynn is that she continues to stand up for her beliefs and her work year after year without FAIL and there isn't a single person who would question her commitment, character or class.

    I may never get there but the work that Lynn has done is an example to anybody who cares about creating real change in this city and the world guided by their values. Thanks for the post and the mention but more importantly, thank you for the work that you have done and are doing.

  10. Your "friend" just referred to columnist Mary Sanchez as "a broad" on his latest blog post.

    That's your friend.

    You must be so proud.