What is the problem with human beings? A passenger plane is shot done over Ukraine, Israelis and Palestinians are working on a "fewer-human-beings-who make-up-a state" solution, and life is fleeting. The world makes me sad, and I am not getting any younger. I went to a funeral today and I realize humanity is so screwed up. My son suggests to me that corruption may be a way that government becomes more efficient, I see first-hand how poorly local governments are run, and . . . then we die.
I am not a bastion of optimism tonight. Life is an existential crisis. We kill people, probably because we have no other natural predators besides ourselves. We inflict pain, torture and atrocities against each other, we treat each other with disrespect, humiliation and/or violence, and then we die.
I just read the first two paragraphs to a family member who responded, "Do you need a hug?" YES!!!! I, and I suspect, the most of the world, needs to hug each other. I know I sound like a crazy hippy, but I am so disgusted with humanity. And, quite frankly, I am not really helping. I do not know how to solve these issues. I am as petty as the next human. I haven't killed anyone nor have I committed a violent act against anyone since adolescent, when I bit the shit out of my sister in our last scratching, biting physical fight, except the swat I gave my daughter one morning when she refused to go to school while I was in the middle of trial. She and I have since made up.
I try my best as a lawyer to help with my version of justice. But, I am not feeding hungry children, administering to the sick, or negotiating peace settlements between warring factions besides plaintiffs and defendants in discrimination cases. At least I am not protesting needy, scared children seeking refuge in this country, but I haven't done anything to help them, either.
What can one person do? I don't know. I delude myself that working to alleviate racism, sexism and ageism makes a difference. Sure, the cases I work on effect the people involved, but the world is so screwed up, what can really make a difference.
Genocide, atrocities, and rape and killing still happen. These events will probably always happen. It's overwhelming. I still believe that most people want to do the fair, right and just things. I believe in the goodness of people, but why is there so much destruction now? What are we doing wrong?
Maybe the "arc of history is long, and it curves towards justice," but I want to see justice now! I won't be alive in a hundred years. It is so deflating to see so many people in so much pain caused by so many other people. What are we doing wrong? Why do we do these things to each other? Are we really civilized? How can we treat others the way we do? Why is this world so dysfunctional?
I guess I just need to learn to deal with this somehow. Tomorrow, I go back to work and work on my cases, hopefully helping my clients. Maybe we all just need to sleep on it. Right now, I feel like we are caught in a nightmare. All I can say is, "World grow up! This shit needs to stop!"