Why I Love Social Media and the Internet

There is hardly a person I can not find something about.  I don't hire private investigators, I have one who works for free.  His name is Google.  I find people through Facebook and My Space. And I am interested.  If I weren't a lawyer, I would still probably be looking people up on the Internet, because I am interested in who we are and how we are presented to the world.  We live in a much more connected world than the world of my youth.  When I was in college, a computer filled a building.  I bought my first personal computer in 1991, after 8 years as a lawyer.  When I was fresh out of law school, people used "word processors.". I didn't know how to turn one on.  Research was done in various libraries with books. We contacted others either by letter or phone.  In a prior law firm, there was a conflict about whether or not we needed the new-fangled "fax" machine since only dilatory lawyers failed to get their work done in time to use the mail.   How things have changed.  We have so much more access to everything and everyone.   When I represented a woman suing Mayor Funkhouser, I checked the Internet every morning.   Some days this was how I found out about new developments in the case, even though I was the plaintiff"s attorney.  I also discovered how anonymity emboldened those making vicious and vile comments.  Nasty racist and sexist comments appeared regularly, by people who falsely assumed they could forever remain nameless.  Of course, we could have tracked them down through there ip addresses, but those people were not worthy of the effort.  I received one anonymous hate letter by mail, and figured it must have been from a person who was essentially computer illiterate.  I resolved after that experience to never post anonymously anywhere ever.    With the Internet, anyone with a desire can have a voice.  We can learn a lot about others.  We had a sexual harassment case and my partner was going to take the deposition of the purported harasser.  She looked on the Internet, and there, on MySpace, was his page talking about how hot he thought he was to women.  How insecure is someone to have to post how desirable he or she is on the Internet?  Alternatively, there are people with whom I have been quite taken based on their social media postings.  I feel that I am honored to share a part of these people, especially the courageous ones who make themselves vulnerable and share their hopes, desires, sense of humor, and even progression of their labor pains. I hear others complain because people use social media for trivial information.  I love all of the information.  I feel honored that people make themselves vulnerable and let us know about their lives.  I know lawyers who tell their clients not to use social media.   I disagree.  We all need to exercise common sense, but isn't it wonderful that we get to learn about so many people and realize that we share hopes and dreams with those we hardly know.  I can't wait to see what technological advances are yet to come.  P.S.  Tony, I love your blog the most. You have the courage to be controversial, and funny. Don't we need controversial people in this conformist society? Yes!  Especially if they can laugh, not just at others, but also at themselves. 

BEING A BETTER TRIAL LAWYER - WITH OR WITHOUT A PENIS

This issue is near and dear to my heart, since I lack a penis - how to be a better trial lawyer without emulating other trial lawyers with different physical "characteristics." Now, it is undisputed that most trial lawyers are men. Men have historically been the fighters on our planet. Men can be strong,and fierce and brave, and so can women. People of different genders may just approach lawyering differently.  Man and women can learn from each other. 

I have been a woman all of my life and a female trial lawyer for the past 253+ years, trying over 7,000 jury trials (perhaps a slight exaggeration). Based on my many years as an estrogen-laden trial lawyer, these are some of the traits that make trial lawyers more effective:

1.  DEVELOPING A THICK SKIN 

Self-confidence  -  or the absence of self-consciousness.   This is probably the hardest attribute to achieve.  Lack of self-consciousness is a difficult skill to develop.  You must developing a very thick skin or believe in yourself that it doesn't matter if you are personally attacked.  It means realizing that those lawyers who attack you or your client are doing so from a position of weakness.  The absence of self-consciousness, or the lack of self-centered-ness, comes from believing in oneself.  Most people are born with some self-consciousness, some insecurity.  Selfish insecurity has no place in advocacy. Our job is to put our clients' interests ahead of our own.  I know of no way to eliminate insecurity without engaging in some form of self-exploration. We all have demons. We all have weaknesses. We need to be okay about who we are before we can put our clients first. Recognizing our own faults and foibles, and owning up to them, will set us free.  

To become self-confident, it is essential to be self-critical. This means a lawyer may need  to undergo counseling, psychodrama, or read self-help books or do whatever takes you out of your skin. Being a good trial lawyer is not about you or your ego.  Egos get in the way of effective advocacy.

To overcome fear, prepare. Be the most prepared lawyer in the courtroom. Care about what you are doing. Believe in your client and in your client's case. 


2.  DEVELOPING A THIN SKIN

The ability to empathize with our clients and with everyone else in the courtroom is essential.  When it comes to others, we must understand and empathize. Compassion is essential.   We need to look at a trial as more than a battle.  We need to understand what are clients are going through.   We need to listen. Listening, true listening, is a selfless act. We need to care, about our clients and about justice. What we do must matter to us. 

3.  TAKING RISKS 

This is where a little testosterone comes in handy. We can't stand by the wayside and hope things come out okay. We must jump into the fray, leap off that cliff.  After all, this is not about our egos. We are furthering justice. 

4.  NOT GIVING UP

Persistence is the key. Need I say more. 

5.  BECOME THE MOST "YOU"YOU CAN BE

Some lawyers are big and commanding, some are small and soft. We need not change who we are, we need to embrace who we are. Many women have soft voices. Sometimes that softness comes from fear, but more often it is just a part of who we are.  Should we shout to be heard?  I think not. We must be true to ourselves. I would much rather see a woman lawyer with a portable microphone than hear a judge repeatedly criticize a woman for being soft-spoken. Revel in who you are. If you are sweet and soft-spoken in life; in trial, be sweet and soft-spoken. Be who you are.  Love who you are.  Care about yourself, your client and justice. Treat everyone, including yourself, with respect. Play to your strengths. 

6.  HAVE FUN.   

Love your clients, love yourself and follow your passion.  Relish in what you do. How many people are as lucky as you to be able to do what you love. 

7.  REMEMBER FROM WHENCE YOU CAME. 

Most trial ayers I know have overcome a great deal of adversity in life. Remember what that feels like.  Feel. We are humans with feelings. Care. 

This article did not turn out as I had envisioned. It's not so much about gender, but more about humanity. Being a trial lawyer can be a very honorable thing to do. Don't screw it up.  The judicial system is the bedrock of civilization. Don't forget the honor in this profession. And don't chase ambulances. It makes the rest of us look bad. 

Resolving to Laugh

2011 was a serious year, at least for me. When I say it was a serious year, perhaps what I mean is I took it too seriously. I have serious cases, my friends and relatives had serious illnesses, the world had serious financial issues. In 2011, I took myself very seriously.

At the end of 2011, yesterday, I seriously wanted to punch some lawyers and their clients in the face, metaphorically speaking of course. I have clients with serious problems who want serious help from me. I have family members with serious issues and concerns and they deserve serious help from me. 2011 was a year of serious financial concerns to Americans in general and people close to me, specifically.

We have serious issues to address, poverty, hunger, injustice. And on the last issue, injustice, I fancy myself as a serious advocate of justice for my clients. And this last year, I have looked at all the issues in my life, and most of my relationships, whether professional or personal, in a very serious manner.

My mission this year, should I choose to accept it (yes, I just saw Mission Impossible again) is to laugh as much as possible. I understand the caveat, however, which is to endeavor not to laugh at inappropriate times.

I want to guffaw again. I love guffawing. I love making others laugh, too. Sure life and our work is very serious (unless you who are reading this is either a comedy writer or a speech writer for Newt Gingrinch or Donald Trump. In fact, how is someone named Newt Gingrich or Trump even taken seriously, but I digress.)

Laughter makes me human. Laughter allows me to enjoy life. Laughter makes this world bearable. I love to laugh and I laugh to love (how corny). I resolve in 2012, the year the Mayans predicted Armageddon, to laugh daily. There, I said it. That is my goal. We'll see how this works out. Ha!

And since we are talking about the future, I will leave you with this thought. I hope to die the way my joyous grandfather left his life. I want to die in my sleep, just like my grandfather did. I do not want to die yelling and screaming, like the passengers in his car.

With that, I wish you a joyous, happy, laughing new year!

Is "Gender Equality" Really Possible in the World As We Know It?

Do American efforts to teach "gender equality" in third world countries make a difference?  The American government and American contractors are seeking gender equality experts to teach Afghanis how to treat their women. I have read tales of Afghani women imprisoned for adultery or fornication after being raped by an acquaintance.  

Recently a young woman jailed in Afghanistan was forced to agree to marry her rapist in order to gain her freedom from prison.  I watched a documentary on HBO entitled "Pink Saris" in which "untouchable" women were routinely beaten and raped by the in-laws with whom they were forced to live.  Recent reports in the United States indicate that one in four women in the United States are victims of sexual assault and this is hardly a third world country. 

I discovered years after the fact that a woman who is very close to me was raped by a former boyfriend. This woman, by all outside appearances is strong willed and appears able to fend for herself.  Yet, she was sexually assaulted and I never suspected at the time. By the time I found out, three or more years later, there was nothing I could do. Or was there?  Could I have prevented the assault?  I am haunted by these doubts. 

If I couldn't prevent a sexual assault of someone close to me in the United States, am I capable of making a difference in a culture where sexual assault is fairly accepted by those in charge?  Can anyone make a difference?  Maybe, over decades or centuries, sexual victimization will be rare. It's common now, and it pains me to realize this.  

Favorite Quote of the Day

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
- Albert Einstein

Let's Hear It for the Underdogs!

In America, we love underdogs.   Who is an underdog, you might ask.  We are all underdogs, that's why we love them.  This is a nation of underdogs, filled with  people expelled or mistreated by others, immigrants or badly treated native peoples.   We pull ourselves up from our bootstraps, we prevail against amazing odds, we fight.  That is why we love us, Americans.  Fighting as underdogs is what we do best. 

I am watching the Kansas City Chiefs play the Green Bay Packers.  My husband has been sure we were going to lose and lose badly.  We still might, the game is not over.   All predictions have been that the Chiefs will lose: a) the Packers are the defending Super Bowl champs; 2) the Chiefs have played HORRIBLY this season; 3) the Chiefs fired their coach last week after a particularly horrendously played Chiefs game; 4) the Chiefs don't have a starting quarterback; and, 5) Arrowhead stadium is packed with Packers fans.  The Chiefs are ahead now and they may ultimately lose, but this is a classic UNDERDOG game.  Ergo, the Chiefs will probably win. 

The Underdog Syndrome is a common phenomenon in American society. We love underdogs and want to be underdogs.  Let's talk about which groups in this country relish in their underdog status:

1) Tea Partiers, harkening back to the Revolutionary War days when American Patriots were outnumbered by the British loyalists;

2) Occupy Wall Street (and the Occupy movements in all major cities) - we are all part of the 99% of underdogs, except for that 1%, who largely want to be in the 99%, e.g. , Warren Buffett who wants to pay taxes like the underdogs but Congress won't let him. 

3) Any sports team whose owners pay less money and who aren't the New York Yankees.  Don't most of us want those Steinbrenners to get their comeuppance?

We relate to underdogs because most of us have had to work hard to get what we have.  We have no royalty in this country and we have little respect for those who are handed wealth or power with no work.  Why else is Warren Buffett giving most of his billions to charity, so as not to corrupt his kids.  Why do Americans love Harry Truman, Bill Clinton, and Barak Obama - three people who worked hard to achieve.  No inherited power or money for those Presidents.

We love Rocky, the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team, and Lance Armstrong the cancer survivor. When an underdog wins against great odds, we believe that he or she is our standard-bearer, and maybe, just maybe we can win against great odds, too.  When an underdog wins, we believe we can win, too.   We can beat Walmart in lawsuits, or the banking giants. Whistleblowers can prevail if they do the right thing and their cause is just. Powerful companies can be defeated when they hurt individuals.  Underdogs keep us believing that maybe there is some justice.  The big, mighty and powerful don't always win.  Underdogs keep us fighting.

I really don't care that much about football, but I am deeply involved in this game. It is important to me, right now, that the Chiefs win.  They may not win but, gosh I hope they do.  Go underdogs!  Go Chiefs!

Why Lawyers Should Hate Themselves

My last blog was why people hate lawyers.  I touched on a few reasons why lawyers are reviled.  Since then, I have thought about the many problems with lawyers and our legal system.  Unfortunately, the system needs fixing and lawyers need to take a good look at themselves. 

This is what I propose we need to examine -

1.  Lawyers in it for their ego (and let's be truthful, aren't all trial lawyers, myself included, guilty of an overactive ego).  In the lawyer's mind the case becomes about him or her and less about the client. Some ways you can tell when a lawyer thinks he or she is the bee's knees is when he lawyers reports things like, "in the deposition, I got him to admit...". Every good thing that happens becomes a reflection of the lawyers skill, not the righteousness of the case, the character of the witness, etc.   All trial lawyers do this, me included.

2.  Lawyers more intent on winning a "game" than furthering the case.  For instance, lawyers fighting about where to hold depositions, obstructive objections, nastiness in general. 

3.  Lawyers whose primary concern is lining his or her pocket book.  This goes for both sides.  For the defense attorney, many of whom have boldly told me it was too early to settle a case because they didn't have enough in fees, it is needlessly delaying case.  For the plaintiff's lawyer, it is thinking about the client as a commodity that should turn a profit rather than a human being needing justice.   From the plaintiffs' perspective, you can spot these lawyers when they refer to their case in figures (6 figure case, 7 figure case), etc.

4.  Lawyers so insecure that the only person they are interested in listening to is themselves.   Probably the most important trait for a lawyer is being a good listener, yet lawyers has a whole are the worst bunch of listeners on the face of the planet.  You have to forget about yourself to be a good listener.  The best lawyers are those secure enough to give up being the center of the stage to listen to their clients, the witnesses, and ultimately the jury.  

Lawyers would be well served to, in addition to the annual legal education requirements, take a course on empathy, listening, and humility.  Someone needs to shake us every once in awhile to keep us on track.  We are facilitators of the justice system.  The justice system is not about us.  In fact, a few of us may need more than just a gentle shake.  Perhaps a slap might make us pay attention.  But, that's a battery and would be illegal.   I fear that some of us won't get back on track.  I really, really would like to slap them. Oh, how I would like to slap them.  Yes!  ... Oh, were you saying something?  I wasn't listening.  

Why People Hate Lawyers

For those of us who have been on this earth for more than a few years, we are sure to be faced with hard decisions that change the directions of our lives. Few of us recognize the importance of these life-changing decisions at the time they arise. For instance, as lawyers, we are confronted with situations where we must choose which way we will function as lawyers.  Will we work for the people who pay us the most, regardless of the underlying principles?  Will we defend that tobacco company if it makes us rich in the process. Will we stomp on the rights of weak and helpless?  Will we sell out for the biggest bucks?  Can we rationalize our decisions?  How will our rationalizations impact on our character, or lack of character, as the case may be. 

I was recently in depositions with older, experienced lawyers, who probably at one time were idealistic young, compassionate people. They probably had great loves and cared deeply about social issues.  But something must have happened to them. Our client was grievously injured and the gaggle of lawyers assigned to represent the various parties seem prone to screaming, arguing and belittling us and our case. I wonder if they just force themselves to eradicate thoughts of our client, for how could anyone see this brave, hard-working, severely injured man and not feel empathy and admiration.  What happens to people when making money, buying that fancy car, insulting others to build ones ego becomes more important than human decency. 

I certainly am not a paragon of virtue. I used to work for the dark side myself, but after awhile, it should become hard. We should examine our motives. We should keep caring and compassion for our fellow humans.  It is sad when someone loses his or her humanness.  

No wonder people don't like lawyers. We like to use our voices just to hear their sound, we bully innocent, less powerful people and we put ourselves and our egos before justice and our clients. 

There are things more important than money, status, and the need to feel important.  Most lawyers started out wanting to do good and be fair.  What happens?  A thousand little decisions.  Go work for the firm that pays the most, make that argument that you don't believe, fudge on the facts so you have a better argument, and, most important of all, throw your compassion out the window.  It sure is tempting when the reward is money and social status.

There are lots of lawyers who hate practicing law and I suspect the main reason for that is because those lawyers do things of which they are not proud.  How sad to be at the end of one's career and still trying to bully witnesses and opposing counsel.  Bullying is certainly not restricted to middle school high jinx. 

Lawyers who hate what they do should leave the practice of law. I am tired of having to deal with them. Good riddance.

Creativity and Growth - My Lucky Turn with the Fabulous 3 Sisters

One of the things I love about being a trial lawyer is that I continue to learn and grow, both as a lawyer and as a person. Two years ago I made a fateful decision which was very hard, to quit being associated with the Trial Lawyers College and to take another leap of faith. I will be eternally indebted to TLC for all I learned, mainly about myself.  Gerry Spence always said we need to work on knowing ourselves to be able to be the best trial lawyer we can be, and he is so right. I spent 15 years at TLC, almost 14 of them on staff, the last couple of years as a liaison to the Board.  I am so indebted to John Nolte, Don Clarkson, Kathie Sinclair and Katlin Larimer for how they helped me be me.  There are so many people at TLC whom I care very much about.  However, in 2009, it was time for me to leave, just as how it had been time for me to leave my old firm in 1994 when I first came back from TLC. One thing about learning who you are is recognizing when it is time to make a change.  Listening to your gut, following your intuition, is one way of taking care of yourself.

After I left TLC, I felt a little isolated.  Not only had I burned bridges with TLC, but also with my fellow friends and ex-pats, who now call themselves the 3 Sisters.  Those three women had big ideas, starting their own trial lawyer training program, writing a book, continuing to grow.   When I was first asked to help with the 3 Sisters seminars, I said no.  I was conflicted. It took me awhile to know what I should do. 

The 3 Sisters, Joane, Fredi, and Mary had already started their seminars with Carl Bettinger and Charlie Abourezk.  A year went by and Joane approached me again. I missed the intellectual stimulation of the college and I missed my friends, so I somewhat reluctantly agreed.  I did not want to get back in a rat race of jetting to various locations to teach.  At first I was unsure of my commitment to 3 Sisters.  

I soon discovered the true creativity, intellect and caring of these friends - and I include Carl and Charlie in this. This collaboration has been exciting. It has opened me up to new ideas and experiences and is a blast!  I feel the excitement one feels when she gets IT, the big IT!!!!!  When I started at TLC, I had tried several cases, but I was still scared.  I am no longer scared. I love being in the courtroom talking to the good citizens of this state about my clients who I generally have grown to love. I know that when I am in the courtroom, advocating for justice for my clients,  that is where I should be. I am at peace with what I do, and my job is thrilling. 

The 3 Sisters is filed with brilliant, caring, creative people (I am not so conceited to include myself in that description). When we get together at one of the seminars, the creative ideas grow exponentially.  But for me, knowing I am where I need to be, in my life, in my profession and at 3 Sisters is  so gratifying. 

My last trial was in June. The case was settled after the first week. That case illustrated for me what it feels like to be in the zone - to love my client, to feel the justice of my client's position and to know I, along with my wonderful client, were up to the task. 

I am so blessed to work with Joane Garcia-Colson, Fredilyn Sison, Mary Peckham, Carl Bettinger and Charlie Abourezk. They are the best. I mean that in a colloquial way, but also in a very real way. THEY ARE THE BEST!!!  The most caring, creative, intelligent lawyers I know. I am blessed. 

Money - A Complicated Concept

Money - what a complicated concept.  Money brings out the best and worst in us.  Money means many things to us.  Money is synonymous with freedom, security and power.  Just as with anything pleasurable, food, drugs, or sex, money can be overly desired and become addictive. 

I recently read that a survey was done of people with net worths of over$20,000,000.  They were asked if they either wanted to maintain their wealth or increase it.  80% of those in this wealthy category wanted to increase their wealth.  Not being in this category, I wonder when is enough enough?  

Let's look at recent news. We all are affected by the debacle on Wall Street. I recently watched the movie "Margin Call." the demise of the investment bankers, and our economy, was caused by greed, pure and simple.  What about the scandal at Penn State?  Why was an assistant coach allowed to sexually abuse young boys for years?  Who wanted to rock the boat and bring down a very financially successful football program?  The root of the cover up was greed, nothing less.  

So how does this relate to the legal system?  As civil plaintiffs' lawyers we seek money for our clients, and, truth be told, for ourselves.  When is enough enough?  I suppose it depends on perspective.  We all know plaintiffs' lawyers whom we think may be motivated by greed.  In my situation, I wonder if my indictment of these rich lawyers might be mixed with some jealousy.  However, the insurance industry and society is quick to point out the social ills allegedly caused by a greedy plaintiffs' bar. 

Let's examine some real life situations that insurance companies and businesses fail to mention.  There are products sold in this country by major retailers that are devastatingly dangerous to American citizens.  The consumer product safety commission is mired in bureaucracy.  Companies, when successfully sued, can file bogus bankruptcies under our system, even where they are not insolvent to avoid trial or paying judgments.  Individuals who own multiple million or billion dollar companies move to Hong Kong or other places to avoid service of process, dissolving their companies and reopening them under bogus names.  You may think that these situations cannot be happening in modern times in this country.  I have two current cases where this is happening now.   The bottom line for these owners of companies is to protect their enormous wealth at the expense of gravely injured or damaged victims.  And America's biggest corporations help these greedy people evade responsibility. 

 In the end, I believe that my clients will prevail.  I, and the other lawyers representing the injured, will continue to fight for our clients.  But the love of money, the root of all evil, is a formidable opponent.  With excess money, comes excess power.  It is hard to fight against the power of too much money, but not impossible.  

Excessive money is seductive and is likely to corrupt.  It is not the plaintiffs' lawyers who are  hurting others to maintain possession of billions.  Corporations are not people, no matter what the Supreme Curt may say, they can be the means by which greedy people circumvent decency to line the pockets of its greedy masters at the expense of the health and wealth of living, breathing humans.  It is that which we must combat.