Forgiveness

A lawyer whom I met before killed himself last week. Apparently, according to the newspaper, a judge wanted him to come to court to explain about some settlement funds. When the police came to his house, he went upstairs and shot himself dead. He had been on a lot of lawyer committees, and by all accounts, was somewhat of an over-achiever. But, in the end, he left two boys and his wife to deal with his mistakes for the rest of their lives. I am profoundly saddened by what has happened to his family.

We have so little time on this planet that it seems useless to spend that time blaming others and living with rage.  Nelson Mandela said something to the effect that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. We expect a lot out of others.  People are not perfect.  Many have their own demons, their own stories, about which we usually know nothing. People often suffer from addictions or emotional illnesses and feel they cannot confide in others. Unfortunately, these less than perfect people don't realize how flawed the rest of us are.

A really wise man, Don Clarkson, says, "If you can't talk about something, it's out of control."  That statement rings true to me. Our country is so he'll-bent on punishing others. Our prisons are overflowing.  Missouri has had an uptick in executions. I am saddened by how harsh we are on others, and on ourselves.

I am not a Christian, having been raised as a Jew. Yet, in this season of Christmas, it behooves us all to look to the teachings of Jesus. Jesus understood and preached the true meaning of forgiveness. I am so heartened by his words, "He who is without sin should cast the first stone"  and "Judge not lest you be judged." Jesus understood that we are all flawed.  We all have the potential to do good, to be redeemed, yet we all are imperfect.  In this holiday season, I cherish the belief that life is not black and white, but shades of gray.

Why Does Power Corrupt?

There is a well known adage, "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely."  What does that mean?  To me it means that few people can keep following their moral compass if they achieve too much power.  And, money is power.   Nelson  Mandela was an exception to the rule. Mandela had the possibility of endless power in South Africa. He could have put the whites responsible for his imprisonment in jail, but he didn't.  He could have exacted revenge on the proponents of apartheid, but he didn't.  Mandela worked to forgive those who had wronged him and the other blacks and unify the country.  He only ran for election once, and then stepped down so that democracy could work.

Compare Mugabe in Zimbabwe. He has become increasingly oppressive since wresting power from the Brits in the former Rhodesia. He claims land for his relatives. He rules with an iron hand, and his country suffers for it.

The difference is how the two men dealt with the power they had. There are few Mandelas in the world. But, power corrupts not only world leaders, but also bosses, politicians, the wealthy, and the rich capitalists.  I have thought about. The characteristics of those who abuse power. It seems to me, aside from being born a psychopath, there is mainly one characteristic and one characteristic alone that accounts for the corruptive tendency of power - INSECURITY.   If you do any reading about Richard Nixon, the man was wracked with insecurity and jealousy.  His 1960 statement upon losing the California governorship, "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore," was sad not only because of the defensiveness of Nixon, but also because the statement was untrue. Nixon came back and what happened to the country wasn't pretty.

In discrimination cases, particularly those involving harassment, the  abuse of power principle applies. The less the boss' self-esteem, the more bullying he or she is. The same holds true for school bullies. What's the moral here?  Make sure people you promote are secure in their personhood?  That would be nice.  We don't need any more Charles Foster Kane's running this county.

Mandela and Foregiveness

Nelson Mandela was an amazing man and accomplished many great things.  When I was younger, I thought South Africa was doomed to be wracked by violence, with the Black population not  unreasonably seeking revenge for the years of apartheid, discrimination and poverty imparted on them by the White Afrikaaners.  But, massive violent rebellion never happened.  As far as I can tell the main reason for the relatively peaceful redistribution of power is because of the tremendous leadership and wisdom of Nelson Mandela.

After being imprisoned for 27 years, Mandela sought peaceful transition and abolition of apartheid. What an amazing human being, with the wisdom and foregivenesx that prevented what could have been violence and destruction. Mandela said that being vengeful was akin to drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.   Wow. There are very few great leaders throughout history.  Nelson Mandela was a great leader. I hope other leaders around the world learn something from this great man.

The Human Spirit - Dedicated To My Great Friend Teresa York

Sometimes I get bogged down with all that is wrong with the world.  Then I am reminded of what is right with the world.  I am thankful to have some time here on this planet with the wonderful people around me, my family, friends, clients, co-workers (who are my friends, too).

I think of the human spirit and what people I know have overcome - the Holocaust, my daughter battling daily migraines and thriving through chronic pain, illnesses in my relatives, brave clients who battle for the rights of themselves and to make this place better for others, and other challenges we all face. I am so thankful to have these wonderful people in my life.

I want to dedicate this Thanksgiving to Teresa York. She posted on Facebook and her words have moved me,

" On this Thanksgiving I am so very uplifted by my family and friends - from my children and sister to my extended family - old dear friends and all of my wonderful friends at work ... I am so very grateful for all of them and wish for them health and happiness. Never have I felt more acutely aware of living in the moment and never have the moments been more filled with more happiness!"

Here's to you, Teresa, you have developed such courage and grace.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Five Reasons Why Americans Need Investigative Journalists

I was in college when Watergate erupted. Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward were national heroes. I don't know about other Baby Boomers, but I read the book "All The President's Men" and saw the movie version on multiple  occasions, and I was proud I lived in a country where freedom of the press was not only guaranteed, but also lionized. We have had a long string of journalists who have fought the hard fight to bring truth to the American people. Walter Cronkite, a Mizzou alum, lead American opinion away from the Vietnam War. Edward R. Murrough exposed Joseph McCarthy and his war on perceived "communists".  Those were the days.

Such is not our situation today.  The news media is driven by the almighty dollar and print media is becoming extinct. CNN is a shell of the dynamic news station that my father watched religiously. MSNBC and Fox News are a joke, with pundits, not reporters, pandering to the crazies. The Kansas City Star is a shell of its former self and has fared poorly under McClatchey. No more are there reporters beating down the doors to expose corruption and malice.  And local broadcast news is little more than hours upon hours of weather and sports reports, intermingled with car chases and monitoring of Twitter posts.   Sad and scary.

Who is there to uncover graft and corruption, corporate greed or misfeasance.  I am afraid almost no one remains to expose the liars, cheats and crooks in politics, government and big business.  Every once in awhile, a "greedy" plaintiffs' lawyer successfully exposes corruption, but not often. The press is called the "Fourth Estate" for a reason. Freedom of the press is integral in exposing corporate and government wrongdoing. But where is the press now, with huge newspaper lay-offs and the broadcast dribble that passes for "news,". Of course, government sponsored NPR and public television seem less dependent on wealthy corporations' largesse. I was pleasingly surprised to see the apparently unbiased reporting of Al Jazeera America, backed by Qatar.  But who is there to protect citizens?  Not nearly as many folks as there used to be.

Here are five reasons that Americans must have unfettered reporting:

1.  Unscrupulous politicians, who still exist, can have a hey day if no one is watching or reporting on malfeasance or even bad judgment.

2.  Corporations will be able to run rampant in their pursuit of unfettered greed. Remember tobacco officials testifying, under oath, that nicotine is not addictive.

3.  Massive numbers of the electorate may believe the candidate with the slickest commercials.   (Don't get me started on Citizens United).  Who will seek the truth?

4.  With no media checking on elections, the rich and powerful will call the shots, because of their greater ability to contribute enormous amounts to political campaigns without consequence or even publication.

5.  What is left of the press will, by necessity, be forced to pursue money to stay afloat rather than stories to inform the citizenry.   .

I don't think this is what the forefathers had in mind while they passed the first amendment. This is a frightening state of affairs.  Thank good news for Tony Botello and tonyskansascity.com. Without bloggers free from big money pressure, we would have even less information than we have today.

Rethinking Football, While You Can Still Think

This is not going to be a popular post, even in my own family while the Chiefs and  Mizzou Tigers are today undefeated.  Oh well.

My husband and I watched "League of Denial" on Frontline.  League of Denial. The documentary explored the overwhelming proof of brain damage in the brains of deceased NFL players.  One young college football player, who committed suicide at age 21, has extensive brain damage (CTE - chronic traumatic encephalopathy) even though he had no documented incidence of concussion. The program explored Junior Seau's suicide, along with dementia, addiction, violence and suicide in many other football players.  The NFL appears to be engaged in a cover-up, disavowing responsibility while ponying up $765,000,000 in a class action settlement by former players and their families.

My husband argues, the players know what they are getting into. They know they might be injured.  While I agree that many players may realize they are subject to traumatic arthritis and joint point as they age,do you really think they knowingly go into a job realizing that there is a probability they will experience brain damage which may cause personality changes, dementia and suicide. Plus, football players don't start playing as adults. They start playing football long before college. Sure, the boys playing football have the permission of their parents. But, do these parents really comprehend the real danger of brain damage to their children.

Sure, football is exciting and we have a sense of camaraderie in rooting for the old college or city team. It's great fun to tailgate. Why, in Kansas City passing Arrowhead Stadium hours before the game provides great olfactory pleasure, with the aroma of barbecue filling the air.  But, what are we really celebrating. Do we realize what significant brain damage risks there are to pro and amateur players alike.

Some people make a lot of money from football.  The NCAA, NFL, team owners and colleges can reap abundant riches, but at what cost?   Parents need to wake up. Football is not a safe sport for children. But, as long as there is such profit from the sport, it is not going away.  I know this viewpoint is not popular, not even in my immediate family. Watching gladiators die in the ring used to be popular, too.

I Hope I Can Be The Trial Lawyer Who . . .

I hope I can be the trial lawyer who:

1.  Cares deeply about my client,

2.  Fights for a  for a just and worthy cause,

3.  Treating the parties, witnesses, jurors and judge case with respect,

4,   Behaving honestly and fairly, with passion and sincerity,

5.  Without resorting to subterfuge, gamesmanship or other chicanery. 

That is the kind of lawyer I hope to be. 

There Is No "I" in T-E-A-M, But There Are 2 "I"'s in M-i-S-F-I-T

What is a team, a group of individuals with a common goal.  The team moves as a whole.

Team members are popular, usually attractive and and oftentimes smart.  What teams may not be are free-thinkers, misfits, and loners. I like representing the latter, those souls who may who be misfits, who I oftentimes feel are my compatriots.  Let's talk about some differences between team-players and misfits.

TEAM-PLAYERS

1.  You are part of a group, do not make waves.

2.  To be respected, work hard and don't care about recognition.

3.  If the the group likes it, it is good.

4.    Sometimes if the group doesn't like someone, they may be ostracized

5.   Team-players follow the rules, usually without question.

-----------------------------------/

MISFITS

1.  Misfits do not fit in, at least in their own minds.  They may be too poor, too ugly, think differently, etc.

2.   Misfits don't follow the rules. Sometimes this makes them more creative.

3.   Many misfits have very good self-esteem and don't worry about making others like them.

4.  Misfits stand up for themselves and other misfits.

5.  Misfits report unethical or immoral conduct that the team players may condone.

6.   Misfits are scrappy and fighters, oftentimes.

Civil Rights are revered when the team-players respect the misfits.

Read DAVID and GOLIATH, by Malcolm Gladwell. It's great.

I am proud to challenge the status quo because I am a misfit who represents other misfits.

LONG LIVE THE MISFITS, THE QUESTIONERS, THE REBELS!  We need them.

It's Not A Dog Eat Dog World.

I have never known of a dog eating another dog. It may happen, but I suspect it is rare. I have never seen a rat race. Perhaps rats race, but none that I have ever seen have done so before.

Our problems are human related. Perhaps dogs think, it's a people eat people world. Figuratively, people do eat people. In the "The Power of Nice," a great book, the authors suggest sending business associates cookies.  Cookies are appropriate for lawyers, difficult or otherwise.

Sometimes I need to re-establish my humanity. Perhaps it's time to send cookies.

How To Have A Better Day . . .

1.  Don't take anything personally,

2.  Live in the moment,

3.  Count your blessings,

4.  Don't take anything personally,

5.  Don't take anything personally,   

Etc...   (Sigh.  . . .)!