One of the hardest things about being a lawyer is putting what you believe in before getting a big payday. Most people in law school believe that he or she can use their law license to better society. However, it's not as easy as it sounds. We all need to earn money. Too often, that paycheck becomes more important than a lawyer's principles and beliefs. It is easy to fool yourself into rationalization. I have rationalized my way through cases. I like to think I have put rationalization and self-deception behind, but too often we, as lawyers, lose sight of the principles in which we believe.
I used to practice as a civil defense lawyer. Two cases, which both were over 20 years ago still stick with me. In one, I tried a personal injury case in which the insurance company hired a doctor reputed to lie on the stand. Ultimately, in some courts around here, he was essentially outed by the judiciary and his lucrative career humiliating personal injury plaintiffs was stopped. But that was not before he testified on behalf of my client in trial. I remember his cackle as he discovered that the plaintiff, who was hit by my drunk client, got a fraction of what she was due. Around that time, my firm was hired to defend a personal injury settlement where the plaintiff did not know about my client's additional coverage and I was charged with defending the appeal in an attempt to keep the policy limits of $100,000 out of the hands of the quadriplegic injured as the result of the car wreck in the case with my client. I argued the appeal, came back to the office, cried my eyes out, and rejoiced when I lost the appeal. A few times I defended individuals accused of sexual harassment. I made them get second mortgages on their houses to pay my retainer. I went after the plaintiffs, the way I hate it when defense lawyers go after my clients, fully using what we now call the "slut" defense.
I am very glad those days are behind me. I don't send my clients regular bills anymore and I only get paid if we settle a case or win it. Our income is tenuous and unpredictable. It can be hard to plan financially, but it still beats defending cases where I have to rationalize my role. I don't have to wine and dine potential clients, I don't steal clients from other lawyers, and I don't have insurance companies scouring my bills. Sometimes it's hard not having a steady income, but I no longer have to represent clients who have acted in ways I do not like.
I believe that our civil justice system works because of lawyer who work on both sides, plaintiffs vs. defendants, the government vs. criminal defendants. While I admire criminal defense lawyers, upholding the constitution and protecting our liberties, I doubt that being a criminal defense lawyer would be satisfying for me. I am sure that being a prosecutor would not suit me, since I tend to feel lenient towards people who have failed society. I can't help thinking, "There but for the grace of God go I." I know I am not cut out to defend civil cases, since I have done that and I am grateful I no longer am on the side of defendants, regardless of the steady pay.
Even though lawyers are attacked in society and have been for hundreds of years, I like to think that at least I have some control over what I do, however, misguided my belief may be. I do admire my colleagues who take the roles which are hard for me and do so with dignity and respect, never forgetting their core beliefs. There are many lawyers representing civl defendants, the state and criminal defendants who do so without compromising who they are. I was unable to rise to that challenge. If I were not representing regular people who need a level playing field, I hope that I would not be practicing law at all.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Saturday, March 8, 2014
The Work/Family Balance; You Can Have It "All"
Ever since I became a mother is 1978, I have been aware of notions of what women professionals have to sacrifice to keep the delicate balance between work and family. I now have two grown children, one born 22 months before law school, the other born 17 months after I passed the bar. In light of all of the literature and debate, I suspect many women, and men, struggle with this issue. I suppose the real issue for most is how to be a good parent and continue to climb up the corporate ladder. The corporate ladder may be difficult to navigate for those ambitious souls who choose to also attempt both. I have always worked for the thirty-five years since becoming a mother. I am a trial lawyer and my profession has been very important to me. I am certainly not perfect, but I think I have found the perfect balance for me between work and family. These are my work/family rules.
1. GET OFF THE CORPORATE LADDER -
From what I see and hear, it can suck eggs to work for a big corporation. Managers can be petty, demanding, devious, under-handed and unreasonable. If you have to be the CEO of GE and your ideas of success includes a 7 or 8 figure compensation package with your own private jet, I guess you have to attempt that unpleasant scaling of that unfair ladder. If that is your goal, I am not talking to you. If you want to climb over the backs of your co-workers to reign with a golden scepter, I am not talking to you. I am talking to normal people who don't need obscene amounts of money or power to feel good about themselves.
I am talking to those of you who want to succeed, but success is not measured in dollars or power. Corporations can be cutthroat places and do you really want to spend your life as a gladiator in the coliseum? How do I know that mega-big business is bad, you may wonder, since I have never worked for a giant corporation in my adult life? Well, I have sued so many giant corporations for discrimination and retaliation, that I got the hint. Don't work at a place where your fate is controlled by the whim of a snot-nosed kid or sadistic power-monger who would just as soon fire you as care about your mother's surgery. I know this first suggestion, getting off the corporate ladder, may seem impossible, and sometimes it is. We all need to make a living. But, do you really want to trust your fate to a behemoth entity who, by definition, is only concerned with making a profit at all costs? I do not.
2. TAKE YOUR KIDS TO WORK WITH YOU, A LOT
Even when I worked for others, I took my children, individually or together, to work. I would go on walks with them during a break. I would take them with me on out of town trips. After a deposition, which they often attended, we would go swimming in the motel pool. When you are not dependent on the whim of others, you can decide your own priorities.
3. BECOME A ROOM PARENT OR SCOUT LEADER
Staying involved in your kids' activities is not that hard when you are out of the rat race, because you no longer report to the rats. Of course, there can be times when you can't make the Valentines Day party because you are in trial. But go to important events of children if you can. There is no way to make up the memories. A child's feelings of abandonment last a lifetime. Kids grow up fast. You cannot get that time back.
4. WORK FROM HOME IF YOU CAN
To stay off the ladder and out of the rat race, work from home. I invariably get more work done from home than at the office. There are fewer interruptions and much less down time. Be disciplined. Work early in the morning or late at night, too.
5. HAVE A SPOUSE OR PARTNER WHO DOES HIS OR HER SHARE OF THE HOUSEWORK AND CHILD CARE
I cannot stress this point enough. If you are not only responsible for your work, but also responsible for all child care, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc., you are going to go crazy. You must insist that your partner do at least his or her share. If you do not have a supportive partner, it is much worse than no partner at all.
6. PRIORITIZE
This is the most important point of all. You should let things go. No one needs a pie baked from scratch. If it's a decision between scrubbing the bathtub or getting a report out, work on the report. Of course, if your real love is going clubbing all night, you probably should forgo the family. Know what your priorities are. I try to follow my priorities: a. Family first; b. My law practice second, c. Then everything else. (I am not religious, but I realize that some of you have your religion in the top 3. Fine, just remember everything else is last.)
One other issue, balancing family and career is not a "woman's issue." It is both a men's and women's issue. Everyone needs to think about the balance. Men are struggling with the same issues and if this is a parents' issue, men are parents, too.
Since my kids are grown, I am on the down-side of this struggle. Neither one of my children have turned into rapists or serial killers. So, if that doesn't make me a good mother, what does?
When I started out, women were leaving the practice of law in droves, because they could not balance family and career. Now, both women and men my age are being bounced out from large companies due to age discrimination. Perhaps the real title of this piece should be Don't Work For That Behemoth Company." But, I suppose someone has to work there.
Above all else, relax and enjoy what you have and live in the present moment. It all goes by so fast.
1. GET OFF THE CORPORATE LADDER -
From what I see and hear, it can suck eggs to work for a big corporation. Managers can be petty, demanding, devious, under-handed and unreasonable. If you have to be the CEO of GE and your ideas of success includes a 7 or 8 figure compensation package with your own private jet, I guess you have to attempt that unpleasant scaling of that unfair ladder. If that is your goal, I am not talking to you. If you want to climb over the backs of your co-workers to reign with a golden scepter, I am not talking to you. I am talking to normal people who don't need obscene amounts of money or power to feel good about themselves.
I am talking to those of you who want to succeed, but success is not measured in dollars or power. Corporations can be cutthroat places and do you really want to spend your life as a gladiator in the coliseum? How do I know that mega-big business is bad, you may wonder, since I have never worked for a giant corporation in my adult life? Well, I have sued so many giant corporations for discrimination and retaliation, that I got the hint. Don't work at a place where your fate is controlled by the whim of a snot-nosed kid or sadistic power-monger who would just as soon fire you as care about your mother's surgery. I know this first suggestion, getting off the corporate ladder, may seem impossible, and sometimes it is. We all need to make a living. But, do you really want to trust your fate to a behemoth entity who, by definition, is only concerned with making a profit at all costs? I do not.
2. TAKE YOUR KIDS TO WORK WITH YOU, A LOT
Even when I worked for others, I took my children, individually or together, to work. I would go on walks with them during a break. I would take them with me on out of town trips. After a deposition, which they often attended, we would go swimming in the motel pool. When you are not dependent on the whim of others, you can decide your own priorities.
3. BECOME A ROOM PARENT OR SCOUT LEADER
Staying involved in your kids' activities is not that hard when you are out of the rat race, because you no longer report to the rats. Of course, there can be times when you can't make the Valentines Day party because you are in trial. But go to important events of children if you can. There is no way to make up the memories. A child's feelings of abandonment last a lifetime. Kids grow up fast. You cannot get that time back.
4. WORK FROM HOME IF YOU CAN
To stay off the ladder and out of the rat race, work from home. I invariably get more work done from home than at the office. There are fewer interruptions and much less down time. Be disciplined. Work early in the morning or late at night, too.
5. HAVE A SPOUSE OR PARTNER WHO DOES HIS OR HER SHARE OF THE HOUSEWORK AND CHILD CARE
I cannot stress this point enough. If you are not only responsible for your work, but also responsible for all child care, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc., you are going to go crazy. You must insist that your partner do at least his or her share. If you do not have a supportive partner, it is much worse than no partner at all.
6. PRIORITIZE
This is the most important point of all. You should let things go. No one needs a pie baked from scratch. If it's a decision between scrubbing the bathtub or getting a report out, work on the report. Of course, if your real love is going clubbing all night, you probably should forgo the family. Know what your priorities are. I try to follow my priorities: a. Family first; b. My law practice second, c. Then everything else. (I am not religious, but I realize that some of you have your religion in the top 3. Fine, just remember everything else is last.)
One other issue, balancing family and career is not a "woman's issue." It is both a men's and women's issue. Everyone needs to think about the balance. Men are struggling with the same issues and if this is a parents' issue, men are parents, too.
Since my kids are grown, I am on the down-side of this struggle. Neither one of my children have turned into rapists or serial killers. So, if that doesn't make me a good mother, what does?
When I started out, women were leaving the practice of law in droves, because they could not balance family and career. Now, both women and men my age are being bounced out from large companies due to age discrimination. Perhaps the real title of this piece should be Don't Work For That Behemoth Company." But, I suppose someone has to work there.
Above all else, relax and enjoy what you have and live in the present moment. It all goes by so fast.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Optimism and Humanity
I just got done trying two discrimination cases with my partner Kristi Kingston. After almost two months without a day off, I took the last four days off, reading a John Grisham novel and watching Oscar nominated films.
That leads me to my conclusion of the last few weeks - most people are eminently compassionate. I watched "Twelve Years A Slave" and rewatched a favorite, "Nebraska." Couple the movie-watching fest with further lessons learned in trial, I have again come to the happy conclusion that normal, everyday people are basically good, caring, loving people.
Slavery was a despicable culture and condition, and fortunately it was short-lived in this country. The fact it existed at all is problematic. But, I do believe that people are good and kind and most want to be compassionate and treat people in a caring way.
The problem happens when we concentrate on our differences rather than our similarities. I hope that as the people of this planet grow closer, as our planet shrinks, and social media expands, we will see ourselves as part of the collective group of humans on the planet. In a few hundred years, I suspect most people's pigment will become more similar, perhaps a nice lift brown or dark beige. We will recognize our inter-relatedness and common origins. We will love one another. We will notice our similarities more than our differences. I have faith that we can change the hatred, wars and bigotry.
However, my fear is that by the time we are enlightened, we will have wrecked this planet with climate change and waste. No, I will not succumb to bitterness and fear. The day is a comin'. I feel it.
That leads me to my conclusion of the last few weeks - most people are eminently compassionate. I watched "Twelve Years A Slave" and rewatched a favorite, "Nebraska." Couple the movie-watching fest with further lessons learned in trial, I have again come to the happy conclusion that normal, everyday people are basically good, caring, loving people.
Slavery was a despicable culture and condition, and fortunately it was short-lived in this country. The fact it existed at all is problematic. But, I do believe that people are good and kind and most want to be compassionate and treat people in a caring way.
The problem happens when we concentrate on our differences rather than our similarities. I hope that as the people of this planet grow closer, as our planet shrinks, and social media expands, we will see ourselves as part of the collective group of humans on the planet. In a few hundred years, I suspect most people's pigment will become more similar, perhaps a nice lift brown or dark beige. We will recognize our inter-relatedness and common origins. We will love one another. We will notice our similarities more than our differences. I have faith that we can change the hatred, wars and bigotry.
However, my fear is that by the time we are enlightened, we will have wrecked this planet with climate change and waste. No, I will not succumb to bitterness and fear. The day is a comin'. I feel it.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Why The Jury System Works
I have not posted much lately because we have a spate of trials coming up. I had to bow out of the photography classes I was taking because my firm has an inordinate number of trials this year. My last trial was in June 2011 and the case settled after a week of trial. It is unusual for my firm and for me to go this long without a trial, and it feels good to get back in the courtroom.
This last week I helped my partner Kristi Kingston try a sexual harassment case. In two weeks I have another trial, about which I will not discuss hear since the trial is approaching and it is improper to go into much detail on the eve of trial because I will be picking a jury soon.
I have practiced law for over 30 years, and I have tried more cases than most civil lawyers. My first trial was in June 1984 days before I discovered I was pregnant with my now almost 29 year old daughter. I have learned a lot since then.
On behalf of my clients, I have tried my share of winning verdicts and more than I care to admit of losing verdicts. I have learned a lot about trying cases since then. One things sticks with me since day one, though. Juries usually get it right. And I have thought a lot about why that is.
Jury service is the only form of real civic duty that people who have not served in the armed services are required to perform in this country. This country is made up of patriotic people who courageously and diligently serve their country by serving on juries. Juries are almost always thoughtful, diligent, intelligent. We hear so much about people wanting to get out of jury service, and many do, but when a person is picked to sit on a jury, people in our country, especially in this nation's heartland, take their job very seriously.
I am proud to live in a place where people take their civic duty to sit on a jury so seriously. Americans care about justice and jurors try to and usually do the just thing. I don't know what it's like in other countries who no longer have or never had the right to have their civil grievances, and sometimes even their criminal accusations, tried by a jury. I am so impressed by how hard juries work and how important it is for people serving on juries to render a just verdict of which they can be proud.
I know this may sound sappy, but I am so proud to live in this country because of the diligence and courage of its citizens. As I said, I have had my share of losses. I still believe that, uniformly, jurors want to be just, listen to the evidence and the law from the judge, and do their utmost to be just and fair. It takes courage to be a juror, to speak up and let your voice be heard in the jury room. We thank our service people for defending this country, as we well should. But, I want to thank Americans who take days or weeks from their lives and their jobs, in Missouri at $6 a day, to decide the claims of others, whether it be a sexual harassment case, a wrongful death case, or a product liabilities case, and perform their service so honorably.
I know it's cliche, but Americans have the best civil justice system in the world.
This last week I helped my partner Kristi Kingston try a sexual harassment case. In two weeks I have another trial, about which I will not discuss hear since the trial is approaching and it is improper to go into much detail on the eve of trial because I will be picking a jury soon.
I have practiced law for over 30 years, and I have tried more cases than most civil lawyers. My first trial was in June 1984 days before I discovered I was pregnant with my now almost 29 year old daughter. I have learned a lot since then.
On behalf of my clients, I have tried my share of winning verdicts and more than I care to admit of losing verdicts. I have learned a lot about trying cases since then. One things sticks with me since day one, though. Juries usually get it right. And I have thought a lot about why that is.
Jury service is the only form of real civic duty that people who have not served in the armed services are required to perform in this country. This country is made up of patriotic people who courageously and diligently serve their country by serving on juries. Juries are almost always thoughtful, diligent, intelligent. We hear so much about people wanting to get out of jury service, and many do, but when a person is picked to sit on a jury, people in our country, especially in this nation's heartland, take their job very seriously.
I am proud to live in a place where people take their civic duty to sit on a jury so seriously. Americans care about justice and jurors try to and usually do the just thing. I don't know what it's like in other countries who no longer have or never had the right to have their civil grievances, and sometimes even their criminal accusations, tried by a jury. I am so impressed by how hard juries work and how important it is for people serving on juries to render a just verdict of which they can be proud.
I know this may sound sappy, but I am so proud to live in this country because of the diligence and courage of its citizens. As I said, I have had my share of losses. I still believe that, uniformly, jurors want to be just, listen to the evidence and the law from the judge, and do their utmost to be just and fair. It takes courage to be a juror, to speak up and let your voice be heard in the jury room. We thank our service people for defending this country, as we well should. But, I want to thank Americans who take days or weeks from their lives and their jobs, in Missouri at $6 a day, to decide the claims of others, whether it be a sexual harassment case, a wrongful death case, or a product liabilities case, and perform their service so honorably.
I know it's cliche, but Americans have the best civil justice system in the world.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Where Have All The Trial Lawyers Gone - Long Time Passing
Does the public realize how few cases go to trial in our society? Trials are hard to come by. Most cases in state court are settled outside of court and most civil cases in federal court are thrown out by judges, or settled. Lawyers who have had only a handful of civil trials refer to themselves as "trial lawyers" even though they are not. To advance and become a skilled trial lawyer takes years upon years of learning and practice. A trial lawyer has a set of facts, determines how to tell the facts in a cogent story, is prepared to deal with the parts of the story the opponent wants to emphasize, figures out the order of evidence, themes, who will testify and how to show the story in an interesting and convincing way. The lawyer is part-screen-writer, along with the witnesses, director, conductor, part narrator, part producer, and part actor, all while in a competition akin to a blood sport. Being a trial lawyer is not suitable the the weak of heart or the overly self-conscious. Trying cases is the civil way to go to war.
Without years of experience, a quick mind, incredible preparation, real self-understanding and empathy, and the willingness to take unknown risks, one cannot call oneself a trial lawyer. This job is not for the weak of heart. This job is not for those unwilling to learn, self-examine, and become totally vulnerable. There are really few trial lawyers nowadays. I hate to think of trial lawyers as a dying breed. It's hard for clients to give up mediocre settlements when the risk can be losing.
There is no quick way to become a proficient civil trial lawyer. It requires very hard work, risking your client's and your own money and knowing sometimes you will lose and losing feels like dying. You want to get back on the horse to fix your mistakes and show what you have learned from losing. But you don't have a trial for awhile. Your client is devastated, both emotionally and financially, and, truth be told, so are you. But you get back on the horse, time and again, and if you are smart, and driven, and you care for your clients you keep at it and you face your demons and improve, knowing you will never be perfect. You will always learn more throughout your career.
If someone tells you that going to trial is easy, or not hard, they are selling you a bill of goods. Some lawyers try to bluff, and the bluffer make poor lawyers, let alone the kind you would Trudy yo try your case. All lawyers are not equal. All lawyers don't want to go to trial. Realize this. If you need a. Trial lawyer.
Without years of experience, a quick mind, incredible preparation, real self-understanding and empathy, and the willingness to take unknown risks, one cannot call oneself a trial lawyer. This job is not for the weak of heart. This job is not for those unwilling to learn, self-examine, and become totally vulnerable. There are really few trial lawyers nowadays. I hate to think of trial lawyers as a dying breed. It's hard for clients to give up mediocre settlements when the risk can be losing.
There is no quick way to become a proficient civil trial lawyer. It requires very hard work, risking your client's and your own money and knowing sometimes you will lose and losing feels like dying. You want to get back on the horse to fix your mistakes and show what you have learned from losing. But you don't have a trial for awhile. Your client is devastated, both emotionally and financially, and, truth be told, so are you. But you get back on the horse, time and again, and if you are smart, and driven, and you care for your clients you keep at it and you face your demons and improve, knowing you will never be perfect. You will always learn more throughout your career.
If someone tells you that going to trial is easy, or not hard, they are selling you a bill of goods. Some lawyers try to bluff, and the bluffer make poor lawyers, let alone the kind you would Trudy yo try your case. All lawyers are not equal. All lawyers don't want to go to trial. Realize this. If you need a. Trial lawyer.
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Ten Ways To Live A Satisfying Life
It's easier than you think to live a life you can be proud of:
1. Address things or people that have given you emotional pain. If you need counseling or meds, take. Them. There is no reason to be embarrassed if you need help with depression, or other psychological help.
2. Forgive people who have hurt you. Only if you forgive, can you eliminate the pain. You must set boundaries to prevent future pain, but you must take care of yourself. Vengeance is poison. Get the poison our of your system.
3. Imagine how others in your life feel and think about life. This is empathy. See situations from the viewpoint of others.
4. Forget about yourself. Self-consciousness and insecurity come from too much attention to how you are feeling.
5. Do and give for and to others with no expectation of return or a response. The satisfaction comes from helping, not from getting kudos.
6. Treat everyone with respect. If you sink to other's negative levels, you have lost not only control of yourself, but also a positive belief in who you are.
7. Do not let what other people think or say about you affect how you feel about yourself. What others think tells more about them than you.
8. Do what you enjoy. If you can't find a job doing what you enjoy, spend your free time taking care of yourself.
9. Assume the best about people. Love as many people and pets as you can. Fill yourself with love.
10. When important decisions about actions come up, choose the one that will let you respect yourself, even if it is hard, or even really hard.
1. Address things or people that have given you emotional pain. If you need counseling or meds, take. Them. There is no reason to be embarrassed if you need help with depression, or other psychological help.
2. Forgive people who have hurt you. Only if you forgive, can you eliminate the pain. You must set boundaries to prevent future pain, but you must take care of yourself. Vengeance is poison. Get the poison our of your system.
3. Imagine how others in your life feel and think about life. This is empathy. See situations from the viewpoint of others.
4. Forget about yourself. Self-consciousness and insecurity come from too much attention to how you are feeling.
5. Do and give for and to others with no expectation of return or a response. The satisfaction comes from helping, not from getting kudos.
6. Treat everyone with respect. If you sink to other's negative levels, you have lost not only control of yourself, but also a positive belief in who you are.
7. Do not let what other people think or say about you affect how you feel about yourself. What others think tells more about them than you.
8. Do what you enjoy. If you can't find a job doing what you enjoy, spend your free time taking care of yourself.
9. Assume the best about people. Love as many people and pets as you can. Fill yourself with love.
10. When important decisions about actions come up, choose the one that will let you respect yourself, even if it is hard, or even really hard.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Forgiveness
A lawyer whom I met before killed himself last week. Apparently, according to the newspaper, a judge wanted him to come to court to explain about some settlement funds. When the police came to his house, he went upstairs and shot himself dead. He had been on a lot of lawyer committees, and by all accounts, was somewhat of an over-achiever. But, in the end, he left two boys and his wife to deal with his mistakes for the rest of their lives. I am profoundly saddened by what has happened to his family.
We have so little time on this planet that it seems useless to spend that time blaming others and living with rage. Nelson Mandela said something to the effect that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. We expect a lot out of others. People are not perfect. Many have their own demons, their own stories, about which we usually know nothing. People often suffer from addictions or emotional illnesses and feel they cannot confide in others. Unfortunately, these less than perfect people don't realize how flawed the rest of us are.
A really wise man, Don Clarkson, says, "If you can't talk about something, it's out of control." That statement rings true to me. Our country is so he'll-bent on punishing others. Our prisons are overflowing. Missouri has had an uptick in executions. I am saddened by how harsh we are on others, and on ourselves.
I am not a Christian, having been raised as a Jew. Yet, in this season of Christmas, it behooves us all to look to the teachings of Jesus. Jesus understood and preached the true meaning of forgiveness. I am so heartened by his words, "He who is without sin should cast the first stone" and "Judge not lest you be judged." Jesus understood that we are all flawed. We all have the potential to do good, to be redeemed, yet we all are imperfect. In this holiday season, I cherish the belief that life is not black and white, but shades of gray.
We have so little time on this planet that it seems useless to spend that time blaming others and living with rage. Nelson Mandela said something to the effect that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. We expect a lot out of others. People are not perfect. Many have their own demons, their own stories, about which we usually know nothing. People often suffer from addictions or emotional illnesses and feel they cannot confide in others. Unfortunately, these less than perfect people don't realize how flawed the rest of us are.
A really wise man, Don Clarkson, says, "If you can't talk about something, it's out of control." That statement rings true to me. Our country is so he'll-bent on punishing others. Our prisons are overflowing. Missouri has had an uptick in executions. I am saddened by how harsh we are on others, and on ourselves.
I am not a Christian, having been raised as a Jew. Yet, in this season of Christmas, it behooves us all to look to the teachings of Jesus. Jesus understood and preached the true meaning of forgiveness. I am so heartened by his words, "He who is without sin should cast the first stone" and "Judge not lest you be judged." Jesus understood that we are all flawed. We all have the potential to do good, to be redeemed, yet we all are imperfect. In this holiday season, I cherish the belief that life is not black and white, but shades of gray.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Why Does Power Corrupt?
There is a well known adage, "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." What does that mean? To me it means that few people can keep following their moral compass if they achieve too much power. And, money is power. Nelson Mandela was an exception to the rule. Mandela had the possibility of endless power in South Africa. He could have put the whites responsible for his imprisonment in jail, but he didn't. He could have exacted revenge on the proponents of apartheid, but he didn't. Mandela worked to forgive those who had wronged him and the other blacks and unify the country. He only ran for election once, and then stepped down so that democracy could work.
Compare Mugabe in Zimbabwe. He has become increasingly oppressive since wresting power from the Brits in the former Rhodesia. He claims land for his relatives. He rules with an iron hand, and his country suffers for it.
The difference is how the two men dealt with the power they had. There are few Mandelas in the world. But, power corrupts not only world leaders, but also bosses, politicians, the wealthy, and the rich capitalists. I have thought about. The characteristics of those who abuse power. It seems to me, aside from being born a psychopath, there is mainly one characteristic and one characteristic alone that accounts for the corruptive tendency of power - INSECURITY. If you do any reading about Richard Nixon, the man was wracked with insecurity and jealousy. His 1960 statement upon losing the California governorship, "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore," was sad not only because of the defensiveness of Nixon, but also because the statement was untrue. Nixon came back and what happened to the country wasn't pretty.
In discrimination cases, particularly those involving harassment, the abuse of power principle applies. The less the boss' self-esteem, the more bullying he or she is. The same holds true for school bullies. What's the moral here? Make sure people you promote are secure in their personhood? That would be nice. We don't need any more Charles Foster Kane's running this county.
Compare Mugabe in Zimbabwe. He has become increasingly oppressive since wresting power from the Brits in the former Rhodesia. He claims land for his relatives. He rules with an iron hand, and his country suffers for it.
The difference is how the two men dealt with the power they had. There are few Mandelas in the world. But, power corrupts not only world leaders, but also bosses, politicians, the wealthy, and the rich capitalists. I have thought about. The characteristics of those who abuse power. It seems to me, aside from being born a psychopath, there is mainly one characteristic and one characteristic alone that accounts for the corruptive tendency of power - INSECURITY. If you do any reading about Richard Nixon, the man was wracked with insecurity and jealousy. His 1960 statement upon losing the California governorship, "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore," was sad not only because of the defensiveness of Nixon, but also because the statement was untrue. Nixon came back and what happened to the country wasn't pretty.
In discrimination cases, particularly those involving harassment, the abuse of power principle applies. The less the boss' self-esteem, the more bullying he or she is. The same holds true for school bullies. What's the moral here? Make sure people you promote are secure in their personhood? That would be nice. We don't need any more Charles Foster Kane's running this county.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Mandela and Foregiveness
Nelson Mandela was an amazing man and accomplished many great things. When I was younger, I thought South Africa was doomed to be wracked by violence, with the Black population not unreasonably seeking revenge for the years of apartheid, discrimination and poverty imparted on them by the White Afrikaaners. But, massive violent rebellion never happened. As far as I can tell the main reason for the relatively peaceful redistribution of power is because of the tremendous leadership and wisdom of Nelson Mandela.
After being imprisoned for 27 years, Mandela sought peaceful transition and abolition of apartheid. What an amazing human being, with the wisdom and foregivenesx that prevented what could have been violence and destruction. Mandela said that being vengeful was akin to drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Wow. There are very few great leaders throughout history. Nelson Mandela was a great leader. I hope other leaders around the world learn something from this great man.
After being imprisoned for 27 years, Mandela sought peaceful transition and abolition of apartheid. What an amazing human being, with the wisdom and foregivenesx that prevented what could have been violence and destruction. Mandela said that being vengeful was akin to drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Wow. There are very few great leaders throughout history. Nelson Mandela was a great leader. I hope other leaders around the world learn something from this great man.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
The Human Spirit - Dedicated To My Great Friend Teresa York
Sometimes I get bogged down with all that is wrong with the world. Then I am reminded of what is right with the world. I am thankful to have some time here on this planet with the wonderful people around me, my family, friends, clients, co-workers (who are my friends, too).
I think of the human spirit and what people I know have overcome - the Holocaust, my daughter battling daily migraines and thriving through chronic pain, illnesses in my relatives, brave clients who battle for the rights of themselves and to make this place better for others, and other challenges we all face. I am so thankful to have these wonderful people in my life.
I want to dedicate this Thanksgiving to Teresa York. She posted on Facebook and her words have moved me,
" On this Thanksgiving I am so very uplifted by my family and friends - from my children and sister to my extended family - old dear friends and all of my wonderful friends at work ... I am so very grateful for all of them and wish for them health and happiness. Never have I felt more acutely aware of living in the moment and never have the moments been more filled with more happiness!"
Here's to you, Teresa, you have developed such courage and grace. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think of the human spirit and what people I know have overcome - the Holocaust, my daughter battling daily migraines and thriving through chronic pain, illnesses in my relatives, brave clients who battle for the rights of themselves and to make this place better for others, and other challenges we all face. I am so thankful to have these wonderful people in my life.
I want to dedicate this Thanksgiving to Teresa York. She posted on Facebook and her words have moved me,
" On this Thanksgiving I am so very uplifted by my family and friends - from my children and sister to my extended family - old dear friends and all of my wonderful friends at work ... I am so very grateful for all of them and wish for them health and happiness. Never have I felt more acutely aware of living in the moment and never have the moments been more filled with more happiness!"
Here's to you, Teresa, you have developed such courage and grace. Happy Thanksgiving!
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